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Thursday, January 05, 2017

Cutting the Facebook Cord

I needed more psychic space,  more free moments each day, and to lose that twitchy must-check-it feeling - so I deactivated my Facebook page a few months ago. I miss some connections, some updates and the addictive rush of seeing notifications, etc.  However I really do feel freer and have more space opening up. (You can still MESSAGE me if you happen to miss me on FB.)

I will come back to my blog again more often I think.  In any case, here I am at the beginning of 2017...

One big thing in 2016. My mother died in November, at 90 years old and with lots of time with family in her final months. I was with her the last week each day and was there with brother Monty for her final breaths.  It was moving, profound and something every human will experience in some way (the departing, not the witnessing).

I find myself reaching for the phone...and then have a sinking feeling that she's gone.  So I talk to her in my mind.  She was a wonderful human...good, generous, witty, forgiving, smart and even stylish. Here's a photo from a couple of months before her death.

That's it for now...more to come.

Hi Gary,
Welcome back to blogging and very sorry to hear of the death last year of your dear mother. I remember you telling me she was playing golf well into her eighties and still leading an active life.
It’s an especially sobering moment I think when you lose the last parent, whose absence does not diminish a flood of past memories. Great photo which immediately brought to mind the many stories of the past you told me and one in a particular concerning Sir Douglas Bader. As I remember it Douglas had a habit of asking women if they would like to see his artificial legs.
No your mother replied, but would you like to see mine?
Best wishes

Thanks Lindsay, and yes, that's an accurate story. She was in fine form to the end - and beyond as we found a large bottle of single malt labelled "for my wake". We honoured her in one sitting!
sorry to hear about your mum, awesome she left a bottle labled for you, she sounds like a great lady.
yes facebook is invasive, though I still use it. I don't blog as much as I used to . and its mostly ponies now and not gardening which is how it started out.
another cat gone today. nearly 18 and a good life.
Hello again, dear Gary,
Welcome back to the now much smaller world of blogging than once was in hopes you'll find here quieter and more thoughtful companionship you seem to need. It's certainly a more peaceful and cordial environment than the big social media outlets provide.

A few years ago I re-joined the less well known but still enormous group Deviant Art (30 million members), where almost immediately I was invited to moderate a watercolour supergroup. I did so and for two years managed intense interactions with a large number of generally inexperienced young artists. After the first year I tried to quit, but the lead moderator fell ill. Then the following year she quit abruptly leaving me to find people to replace both of us. Thankfully, I was successful. I visit the site only rarely to converse with a few like minded artists I've met there, but I'll never be fooled by 'followers'.

The photograph you've posted of your Mom shows just how beautiful she was and is still. How could such wisdom and tenderness ever be lost? I love that thought I read long ago that said, 'We are spirits having a human experience'.
I still talk to both my parents too and my very dear sister/friend Inger who died suddenly the year after we arrived here.

All the best for the New Year
and the next cycle.

ps: You might want to check out your template for the new comment form that allows individual responses.
Hi, Gary, welcome back to blogging. I, too, have cut the Facebook cord. It was getting to be too much, especially with all the divisiveness going on in my corner of the world. I need to distance myself from all the volatility.

So very sorry to hear about your mum. She seemed to be a lovely person.

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